By Sherry Pasquarello,Senior Columnist/worldwidehippies.com
I’ve been seeing quite a few debates on social media about hitting your kids. It is sad how many young parents are using corporal punishment by using the excuse that kids today are not as well behaved or respectful as in previous generations whose parents hit them. I’m here to call BULLS**T on that. I don’t care if you say your parents hit you and you turned out alright; no, you did not, because you are continuing the cycle of abuse. It IS abuse, maybe not horribly physical but mentally you are teaching your child that if all else fails resorting to hitting is acceptable AND that your child should fear you. Parents wonder WHY their kids don’t come to them when something awful may be going on with them in their teen years; the fear of punishment may be gone due to the kid’s age but fear is in there.
Oh and about that stuff about kids in generations before:
Nothing is certain in this life but death, taxes, and the existence in every generation of fuddy-duddies who carp about things not being what they used to be. This centuries-spanning collection of gripes seems to suggest that the golden era of stability and contentment these geezers long to return to may never have existed in the first place. Still, the sheer similarity of their views ought to console them—some things never change.
Kids are kids folks. They haven’t changed as far as testing the waters goes and all in all that’s a good thing. Which means, that you and I and the young parents, that are complaining today were ALL those kids that parents throughout history have been bitching and moaning about.
Yes there are some horrendous things going on at times with young folks but by and large kids are the same as they ever were. Our job as parents and as the “adults in the room” as they say is to help guide them through those rough times in their lives. We have to look at our kids honestly and see them for the human beings that they are. They are not extensions of ourselves so we need to put our ego aside. We can’t relive our childhood through them; that is doing them such a disservice. Hitting kids is the easy way out. I don’t care how many times you tell yourself that old crap about “this hurts me more than it does you” or the even worse “look what YOU made me do!” It is the easy way out and you know it because the alternative to hitting is tedious and repetitive. It’s called teaching, explaining why over and over again. It’s taking the time to understand that toddlers have meltdowns. They can’t help it. They haven’t learned what those emotions are and how to control them so adding pain into the mix isn’t teaching anything, but face it, YOU’VE relieved YOUR stress.
So, yeah I’m saying this to the folks that are advocating hitting your kids because they hit theirs; don’t have any more kids and take time with the ones you do have and STOP looking for affirmation on your way of parenting online. As bad as it is, you may only swat your child on the butt and call that spanking or disciplining another parent may be beating their kid black and blue and calling it the same thing.